A Tale of Blue Tail

A couple days following Christmas my kids and I found ourselves in the typical position of most – returning unnecessary items to the store, post-Christmas. My daughter had generously received an abundance of tea set and play food items with duplicates, and my son had returns as well. I explained to my six-year-old daughter that she had a credit of approximately $15 and she headed immediately to the toy section. However, upon arriving there, she selected yet another plastic toy with only half the enthusiasm. I could see her heart really wasn’t in it, so I suggested we travel across the store for Kleenex, swinging by electronics for her brother, and then we could make a final decision on the way back.

As we were almost across the store, we passed…. the pet department. And as anyone has passed a zillion times without a thought, my six year old lit up like a Christmas tree at the beta fish.

“Mommy, how much are those tanks?” she asked.

“Ten dollars…” I replied. I knew where this was going.

“And, how much is the one fish?” she asked.

“Five dollars.” Well, thanks so much to my daughter’s teachers for her quick-witted math skills at this moment.

“So, that’s fifteen dollars and I have fifteen dollars, right mommy?”

Let’s be real – I bought this little girl an 8-week-old border collie puppy that is now a 6-month-old beast for her birthday only months ago. This little beta fish was literally child’s play in comparison.

“Ok, yes, you can get it.” Besides, my house was FILLED with toys. I could use a change. And beta’s are fed like, once a week right? (Note: Wrong – read the directions BEFORE you leave the store.)

My daughter never looked prouder carrying her bundle of joy to the car, wrapped protectively in her arms from the cold, and safely seat belted in with her in the car. She was so excited she chatted the whole way home. Her smile was so big, I couldn’t help but laugh.

That afternoon my daughter lovingly placed the fish tank in the built-in bookcase on her bed. She told it stories, read it books, sang to it, fed it and talked it’s ear off. She named him Blue Tail. My daughter reminds me of the abominable snowman from that old Bugs Bunny cartoon, where the monster squeezes Daffy and says, “And I will hold you, and rock you, and love you, and squeeze you, and I will name him George.” She adores all kinds of animals and has the patience of a saint with them.

Of course, the next day was off to Dad’s house, which left me in charge. I discovered beta fish need to be fed twice a day so I begrudgingly headed into her room for the nightly feed, thinking how amazing it was this quarter sized blue beast was taking up my time.

But as I placed its food in the tank, I saw this note next to the tank. And I couldn’t help but smile. A hand drawn picture of her, next to the fish tank with the beta and the words, “I Love You.”

The Power of a Crayon

“Don’t underestimate the power of a crayon.”

My daughter is notorious for her playful singing and dancing, her smile and her laughter. She does not sit still. For the most part, neither do I, so this bodes well for both of us. Until dinnertime each night.

One night we were eating dinner together and she was her usual playful self. I had finished my dinner and was putting my plate away and beginning to clean the kitchen as I patiently waited for her to finish, when I noticed she had escaped the dinner table. This was slightly unusual behavior. Not the first time, but generally she stays put to eat her dinner.

Moments later she reappeared with her journal and a crayon. Immediately I reminded her she needed to remain at the table and finish dinner. And then she said something that stopped me in my tracks.

“Well, I would mom, but I thought it was much more important to draw this picture of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins.” My first thought was, “Wow, that’s probably the best excuse I have ever heard come out of the mouth of a 5 year old.” However, sure enough, she immediately held up her drawing – a stick figure Jesus with a giant head and crown of thorns encircling it, up on a stick figure cross, no less. I was speechless.

This picture came out of absolute nowhere. Sure, we pray before dinner, but then we talk about our day, things that happened at school, work, etc. It made me realize that Jesus can speak through small children as well. Maybe sometimes, to get the attention of adults – the ones who no longer understand the power of a crayon.

Listen to anything your children tell you. If you don’t listen to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big. Because to them, it’s all big stuff.

Life is a series of tiny little miracles. Notice them.

The Micromanagemet of Little Men

I pride myself in trying to be a “cool mom” and allowing my kids to explore and try new things -to enjoy life, always have fun, and play. To be kids!! I rarely scold but try to take the opportunity to see things from their viewpoint. This strategy takes on a much more delightful form to parenting.

Over Christmas my kids loving aunt bought them the ‘Pie in the Face’ game. For those of you who are not familiar with it, picture Russian Roulette with whipped cream – in a convenient little box. Who came up with this idea???

And so, the other day my son and his best friend (since birth I might add) are playing together and they decide to pull out the game. I was pretty proud of them for not hitting the TV or computer screen but finding something else to do with their time together. I guess boys will be boys though. They got into the fridge to get the whipped cream and discovered – lo and behold – the ketchup. This is one of those parenting moments where you really think you are on auto-pilot them WHAM. After all, the boys are now 7. I am finally passed the reminder stage of “Wash your hands”, “Shut off the lights” or “Flush the toilet”. So I should not have to say, “Remember to use whipped cream and not ketchup with that game.”

I guess I can chalk this experience up to what our parent’s may have faced before the advent of home computers and the Internet. Does anyone remember mud pies? And how proud you were, bringing that into the house for mom to see? I’m sure the same thought process runs parallel to the situation I was now facing. Part of me has to give the boys credit for their creativity – literally thinking “outside the box”.

The moment first hit me when I opened the fridge to find the whipped cream still in its same spot in the door of the fridge. First thought – “How many cans of this do I have???” Second thought – “Oh my gosh, only one!” Third thought – “What on earth are the boys using???” Off I sprinted to find them.

Walking into my bathroom became another story. It was like walking into a scene from ‘The Shining’ and I half expected to find REDRUM written on the mirror. And while the walls looked like a mass murder scene the takeaway of this experience is they learned another skill – cleaning.

I can hang onto my pride for another day at least. Fostering creativity and a clean home. All in a day’s work.

Mom & Me Ideas

I think a lot about quality versus quantity when it comes to raising my kids. Time is so important and I hate to waste it spending precious moments in front of a TV (unless it’s movie night!) I find that I learn so much more from my kids, when they teach me. How do I do that? Well, I have to push the self release button sometimes and become a kid once again. You know what? It’s the best feeling in the world.

Perhaps I spent too much time in my twenties believeing that if I spent every moment at work something magical would change. I worked two jobs most of that decade only to discover that it was really an excercise in futility.

Then along came these two children. Blond hair, blue eyes and big smiles. They began to teach me in their own subtle way, that in the end, life really is about so much more than a 9-5 job.

I have a new viewpoint on life – a renewed energy.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I find myself in the office with my children, multi-tasking as is often the case in single mom status. My son was playing “fort” under my desk when he popped up to say the funniest thing – “Hey mom, how much do you have to pay to work in  a place like this?”

PJ’s & Popcorn – Halloween Movie Night

There is nothing more fun than sharing a family movie night, especially in the fall when the nights start to become a little shorter, a lot colder and the best part about the evening is snuggling on the couch together.

There are such a great variety of movies available, and one of my first and free (!) suggestions would be to check our your public library to see what is available. I am also a huge advocate for Amazon Fire TV which offers a subscription to an amazing amount of movie options when combined with your Amazon Prime membership.

Don’t forget the popcorn! For this fun and free family event I always love to have popcorn. To make this extra special and memorable for the season, try sprinkling in some favorites such as candy corn or M&Ms. And if there are leftovers? Check out my recipes section for the all time favorite – popcorn balls!

Some great family options for the season include:

Goosebumps

Happy Haunting

Icabod Crane

My Job As a Mom

As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.

Welcome to Fall

The start of a new year, better yet a new school yet-brings with it an opportunity. You can either keep doing what you’ve done in the past (whether it’s worked well or not). Or you can take stock, take charge, and try something new. I am so excited every year for fall. It is by far my favorite time of the year. School starts with new friends, teachers, and ideas. And let’s face it – who doesn’t love a new box of crayons? Best of all, Pumpkin Spice everything is here!

However each year as fall arrives there is the inevitable increase of time constraints that begin to arise as the pressure of schedules, homework and extracurricular activities begin to mount and sometimes topple off balance in our society. The big picture here is what your children will remember years down the road – you driving them all over town for practices and lessons, or the giant hug they receive when you pick them up from school each day?

Working with a group of parents a few years ago, I found that many parent’s really struggled to spend time with their kids and connect. This becomes especially prevalent as children get older and schedules increase. Plus, let’s face it, with this day in age we have many challenges – often two full-time jobs, double incomes or career paths, the Internet in every room of the house, video games and android phones, just to name a few. So I made it my quest to find ways to perhaps challenge the societal norm. I will be the first to admit that my 6 and 7 year each have a cellphone and a TV in their room. But guess what else they have? A really dedicated mom. I plan and I organize. I don’t want life to pass us by. I refuse to let any opportunity to create memories slip by.

I challenge you to treat your children like the small adults they are to one day become. I make it a point once every couple of months to take my kids out to Starbucks. I make it a special “date” to go one on one. I try to set up a playdate for one child and then take the other one for a short shopping trip and a Starbucks. My daughter loves the double chocolate chip Frappuccino. My son loves to get warm milk with a shot of flavoring – pumpkin spice in the fall, peppermint in winter, etc. Sit them down at a table and speak to them one on one. Encourage them and listen to their thoughts and concerns. One of my favorite quotes comes from Catherine M. Wallace – “If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” Don’t stop there. Make it a point to follow up on comments or concerns in the future so they know you really were listening to what they had to say.

Another chance to spend quality time is to get the kids involved in the kitchen. My kids have always loved to cook and “create” and in fact, we will be coming out with our own cookbook later this year! I like to use Trader Joe’s because we can use the small shopping carts to zip around the store. NOTE: I do not recommend you do your large shopping trip with the kids ever, but simply take them to the store to pick up a few “fresh” items, or better yet, encourage them to pick out the veggies themselves. I also highly recommend a set of kitchen tools designed for kids by the company “Curious Chef” which even offers knives made for fruit and veggie prep that won’t cut skin. The kids and I enjoy cranking up the music in the kitchen, chopping up veggies and creating a dinner all our own. With this experience also comes added responsibility – cleaning up, setting the table, and washing the dishes all become part of the gig. All in a day’s work.

If time is really not on your side – I know for me this happens around the holidays working at a church – find time to write a special note. Pin it to the bathroom mirror, inside their favorite book, in their backpack or lunchbox. On a few occasions I have even dropped off little “thinking of you” bags on their desk at school if I happen to be on that side of town.

Finally, I leave you with one final thought on time –  to seize the moment. Perfect attendance is not a lifelong goal for most of us. Take the day off school and do something crazy with the kids when popular locations aren’t crowded. Hit the zoo, the slopes, or even the movie theater. That one day could mean the world to them.

It’s never too late to start over. If you weren’t happy with yesterday, try something different today. Don’t stay stuck. Do better.